Gay Cliche's (Part 1)

It’s a sad reality that drugs are as integral to gay culture as ironed hair and pointy shoes. Lesbians tend to be more like teenage boys in almost every aspect, and are more into smoking weed and “getting wasted, man!”

Gay guys, however, seem to be more into cocaine. Most of them are accountants and lawyers so they are probably the only ones who can afford such an expensive habit. They also tend to be more flitty and anxious, probably from a lifetime of being bullied and called a pansy.

The only time I do cocaine is when I’m with my friend XYZ. XYZ and I went to school together and have somehow managed to keep in contact over the years- something I almost never do. I don’t see him often but when I do we usually do coke.

The worst way to be introduced to drugs is through a boyfriend/girlfriend. Instinctively your brain will always from that moment on link getting high with love. A deadly combination. XYZ was introduced to cocaine by his boyfriend on their first date and now he is addicted.

Yesterday I went to visit XYZ. His boyfriend was away on business so we were just going to rent some DVD’s and eat junk food. Usually if you’re in a club, you’ve either got your drugs or you are about to get them. Sitting with XYZ, the conversation inevitably turned to drugs. “Should we get some, shouldn’t we get some?” It’s a kind of strange ritual he always does before he gets on the phone and orders them.

And then half an hour later there is a knock on the door and there it is. For rich people, the world really is their oyster. And if you can afford it, you can have your drugs delivered to your front door like ordering a pizza.

XYZ is a very high-strung guy so I’m not really sure why he loves cocaine so much. We did so many lines that night that I eventually lost count. I didn’t feel anything and all I am now left with is a pounding headache and dilated pupils the size of marbles. I left my good friend’s fancy apartment thinking that I need to maybe not be friends with him anymore.

Drugs are for sad people. I used to be sad and that is why I took drugs. These days I’m not so sad, so I don’t feel any need to anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m deliriously happy or anything. I’m not. But I just don’t feel that huge gaping black hole inside me that used to relentlessly crave and want all the time. All of that cocaine- that expensive cocaine- didn’t even do anything to me. It just made me feel sad, watching my friend talk about his impending relationship doom and feeling the sense of sadness which seemed to engulf him.

At the end of the day, being gay can sometimes come at a price if you don’t do it right. Because of the marginalization of our lifestyle, the primary place we seek refuge is in clubs. Sometimes it’s the only place we can relax and truly be our big gay selves. Unfortunately, part of that process most often involves drugs.

But it shouldn’t have to.