Thursday, November 4, 2010

Chapter 11


As they left the small house in Melville, Lord Balah could sense that the evil presence that had occupied it before was now gone.  As a child he had always enjoyed vampire movies, and would watch “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” religiously every week, but never in his wildest dreams did it occur to him that such creatures actually existed.  Although he knew the Chinese Secret Service agent was human, the other two- he was certain- were not.

Unbeknownst to Lord Balah and the twins at that time, the minute Lord Balah had vanquished the Secret Service agent into the ether, the fall of China’s communist regime had begun.  Through a curious process which no nuclear physicist could possibly ever explain, it seemed that Lord Balah’s powerful ability to heal had now extended to healing an entire country- although he himself was not yet aware of it.

The twins suggested that Lord Balah go with them back to the Rough Rider headquarters.  So grateful were they towards him for saving their lives, the twins had unanimously decided that they would not let Lord Balah leave (in pursuit of his destiny) until they had paid him back in kind.  As it so happened, the rest of the Rough Rider gang were equally as grateful, and so they and the twins began to tirelessly execute their carefully crafted plans for world domination.

By this time, dear reader, it must be pointed out that the extensive plastic surgery, which the twins and the gang had undergone, had done wonders for their image- both internally and externally.  Not only did they all feel an inner sense of superiority, but this inner knowing was now confirmed by the attention and affirmation they all now received for being so incredibly good looking.  Unfortunately it seems, dear reader, that the 21st century is no place for ugly people.  And now that the twins looked like Paris Hilton-esque plastic Barbie dolls, they knew that the world was their oyster. Indeed, dear reader, it was only a matter of time before they had reached their dream of becoming powerful and influential businesswomen.

Within a matter of days (artistic license, dear reader, allows your truly- your Humble Narrator- the privilege of condensing time), the twins had become world-renowned business moguls.  The Rough Rider gang had registered a company- which they named Rough Industries Inc.- on the Wall Street stock exchange and had become instant billionaires.  Soon the twins were traveling the world in their leer jet, hob-knobbing and doing business with the world’s elite.  They even decided to buy Trump Towers from their childhood hero, Donald Trump.  Indeed, it wasn’t long before they had poor Donald on their payroll, after season 56 of “The Apprentice” had bombed and the series was called to an end.  All in all, the twins had successfully achieved their dream, and were even voted the second (like all twins, the two of them consist of one person) most influential women in the world.  One day, they knew, they would eventually get to number one in the world, since it was inevitable that Oprah would probably comfort eat herself into a coma eventually.  And when that day came, they smiled mischievously, they would be ready.

Despite their sudden rise to power and fortune, however, the twins did not forget the debt they owed to Lord Balah, nor their promise to repay him for saving their lives.  And so they held a top secret boardroom meeting with the rest of the Rough Rider gang in order to collectively brainstorm ways that they could repay Lord Balah and assist him on his epic journey to realize his destiny…

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