The "real" L word

We all know that there is no such thing as “reality” television. Absolutely everything is scripted. Nothing is left to chance. The whole purpose of creating one in the first place is to get people to watch it- in order to make money.

These days it’s hard to keep up with the Kardashians and the millions of others morons on every conceivable reality show premise known to man. It was only a matter of time before the lesbians entered the fray.

Hats off to the woman who has actually made lesbians seem interesting. From the woman who first brought us “The L word”, we now have a show about real women like ourselves- “The real L word”.

The great part about the show is that they edit out all of the boring bits. Which I’m guessing is a lot. The result is that we spend a lot of time with the main character Whitney who is the best looking lesbian for miles. She’s the “Shane” character who drops one woman off at the airport after spending the weekend having sexy times with her only to drive down to arrivals and pick up another woman. She explains herself by telling us that she “loves women, but not in a lame way”.

We also get to watch all the bitchiness and drama that goes down in the clubs at night. This one is sleeping with this one. That one is jealous of that one. This one slept with that one’s ex just to make another one jealous. By one degree of separation it could quickly be calculated that every woman in the club has slept with each other. All of our dirty lesbian laundry is being aired on this show.

Another great couple is Skeletal Barbie and her bisexual partner who are getting married. Every morning they sit at the dining room table with their matching laptops, scanning the Internet for wedding dresses. Skeletal Barbie wants to wear a Gucci pants suit but her femme partner wants her to wear a dress. I’m sure by the time the wedding is over these two will be too boring for television, but its nice to see the chaos and drama involved in catering to not one but two women’s childhood-fairytale-wedding fantasies.

And then there is another solid lesbian stereotype: Mikey. Mikey is a butch lesbian with a humungous ego who constantly alludes to her obvious penis envy. She’s a man trapped in a woman’s body and that seems to make her very angry. She’s vulgar and tacky- something you’d expect to see in the East Rand- except she wears expensive clothes and has arms full of tattoos.

Obviously being set in Los Angeles, the women are going to be better looking than anywhere else, but other than that they are all pretty much like you and me. The only thing that is different is that they have a great Content Editor to write their insightful Big Brother-like seated monologues where they display all the wit, wisdom and insight of the producers behind the scenes.

Personally, I think that TV rots your brain. And if you watch reality TV for long enough you will probably become retarded. That said, it is nice to see lesbians being represented in mainstream media. Lets just hope they don’t run out of content too soon.